Screwed.edu
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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