the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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