This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
