The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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