i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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