im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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