Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
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