Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
