I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
