Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
