yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
