i wish peter jackson would direct porn
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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