I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
