Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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