My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize