I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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