need another drink. this is the easiest way
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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