I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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