ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
