that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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