We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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