Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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