Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
what day is it and did you see me today?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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