She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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