you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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