so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
