My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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