My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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