I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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