i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
