that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
