I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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