dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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