What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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