she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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