she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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