They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
