There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
