And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
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