I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
