No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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