I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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