I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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