is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Everyone says I win the strip club
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
