You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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