i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
