i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
