Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
