there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
There are leaves in my underwear?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
