i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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