Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
