i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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