there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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