Buhtt sex?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
