You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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