billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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