I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
