your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
