Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
