Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
