i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Randomize
