I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize