so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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