How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
