I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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