Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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